Tips for Calming Back-to-School Anxiety
It’s that time of year when I get frantic messages from desperate parents saying “Help! My child is so anxious about starting school!” Here are five tips on getting through the start of a new school year.
First, it’s important to note that anxiety in children can sometimes look like defiance, tantrums and acting out behavior, so don’t assume your child is not anxious because they aren’t displaying classic signs of anxiety like racing thoughts, nightmares or trouble sleeping. Anxiety is fear of the unknown, and going to a new classroom with a new teacher means that there are many unknowns for children. Setting up a meet-and-greet with the teacher and getting to walk around the classroom is always a fantastic idea if it’s an option. In addition, here are things a parent can do to help:
Validate and explain - Children often think they’re the only ones who are and have ever experienced this feeling. Let them know worrying about going back to school is VERY common (you can tell them an experienced child therapist told you so!) and that it just means that their brain is trying to protect them from things that they don’t know yet. Maybe even share a time you felt the same way (if you actually have - I don’t recommend lying as children often can tell).
Visualization - Have your child get comfortable in their chair and have them close their eyes and take a few deep breathes. In as much detail as you know, lead them through a guided visualization from the time they wake up in the morning to walking into their classroom on the first day. Give them time to imagine feeling calm, happy and confident as they imagine themselves doing these things. Let them know that they’re rehearsing the first day in their minds - how cool!
Focus on what they DO know - Friends that are in their class, their favorite table to sit at lunch, basketball at recess are all things that may be familiar and can be good to focus on when their head is swimming with fears of the unknown.
Relaxation techniques - never underestimate the power of deep breathing. Teach children to take slow inhales through their nose and slow exhales through their mouth to help lower their heart rate and let their body know that it’s safe.
Praise - once they make it through the first day (yay!) shower them with feel-good phrases like “You were scared and you were able to do it anyway! That’s amazing!” and “ You did it!” and “I know that felt uncomfortable but you were able to get through that feeling! How do you feel now?”
